I HATE WOEBI!
by gravihag
Summary: A mission sends Duo, Heero, Quatre, and Trowa preventors agents to a Bible Institute on Earth. With the rules and seperate dorm rooms how will they survive? 1x2 3x4 YAOI Limeish. Lemon maybe later. Possible blaspheming, story is better than the summary.
1. Chapter 1

Title: I HATE WOEBI!!!!!!

Pairings: 1x2 3x4

Summary: A mission sends the four preventors agents to a Bible Institute on Earth. How will our boys survive the rules and keep their sanity? (It's quite better than that. I just suck at summaries)

Warning: YAOI. Possible sacrilegious material. Possible Lemon in later chapters. I haven't decided yet. Don't like don't read.

Disclaimer: I don't own a thing. If I did I would tell you.

Random things: So I know some of the stuff probably doesn't make sense. Like I don't know what the L colonies are like so I just pick a random number. 4 is the one I'm using in later chapters. Soooo yeah.

* * *

Duo stared at the missions' overview. Mouth agape, eyes wide in disbelief. There was no way this was an actual mission. How could it be? It was the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard of. "We have to go where?!" He managed out. 

"The United Word of Eternity Bible Institute, on Earth." Commander Une sat at the end of the long conference table, accompanied with Sally.

"And for how long?"

"As long as it takes." She sat forward in her seat. "This is of high priority. We need you to find Lazzaer Zaff's son. He is said to be attending this," she paused to roll her eyes. "this Institute as a cover."By the tone of her voice you could tell she thought the 'school' to be a joke.

"What a wonderful cover. Terrorists for Jesus." Quatre quipped laying his folder back onto the table.

Trowa frowned. "Wouldn't be the first time that happened."

"He isn't associated with the religion, he is hiding. It's a different situation. We need to find him and figure out what he is doing."

"If we had a picture it wouldn't be a problem." Heero looked over at Duo who had such a mix of expressions running across his face he couldn't tell what he was thinking.

"Therein lays the problem. Story is he hired an old school plastic surgeon and there is no record or report of the surgery. So we have no idea of what he looks like anymore. We have absolutely nothing to go by except a wire tap we have on Zaff's phone."

Duo was still staring down at the piece of paper in his hands. "We leave when?"

"Tomorrow. I need you at the shuttle by eleven o'clock. The Institutes hand book must be read before you arrive. Quatre and Duo will be in the same dorm, Trowa and Heero you will be sharing a room in a different dorm."

Quatre opened his mouth to protest but she kept talking.

"There is to be no discussion of this. I know this may cause some personal discomforts and I apologize for that. One of their beliefs is homosexuality is a sin. You need to appear as though you are all of the straight persuasion. However Quatre, Trowa, you may keep your rings on."

"Thank you."Quatre relieved a sigh.

"There will be nothing further. Be at the shuttle at eleven o'clock.

"Yes ma'am." Three voices replied.

"Mr. Maxwell?"

"Yes ma'am." He said, disapproval in his voice.

"Thank you, you are dismissed."

The four of them stood and were almost to the door. "Oh, and boys?" They turned to face her. "Don't drink the cool aid."

* * *

BAMN! Duo kicked in the door to their apartment and stormed inside. Heero followed finding his chestnut haired companion in their bedroom packing like a mad man. "I didn't know you were so excited to get there." 

"I'm not." He growled. "I'm pissed as all hell! Forcing us to go there and not even having the decency to pair of off correctly! Screw their rules! It's not like we fck in public or anything, this is so ridiculous!"

"What's wrong with Quatre?"

"Nothing. I just don't want to have sex with Quatre." Duo continued speed packing, making great progress and Heero sat and read the rules to him. With each rule Heero could feel Duos anger rising, until he made it to the end and looked up finding everything they would be taking with them packed.

"What time do we have to be at the shuttle?" Duo asked his voice sounding slightly husky.

"Eleven o'clock. Why?" Heero quickly found himself pinned down to the bed.

"We have less than ten hours to have as much sex as humanly possible before we get shipped off the that awful place."

Heero smirked rolling Duo under him, and Duo gasped when Heero's cold hand disappeared beneath his pants, giving him a gentle grab. "Mission accepted."

* * *

Quatre thanked Allah he had servants. As soon as they left the building he placed a call and all their things were packed before they were home. He wished however that they had taken the limo instead of the motorcycle. He couldn't feel Trowa at all through his jacket and leather pants. And he tried hard. As soon as they parked and the bike was dismounted Quatre jumped right onto Trowa. "I can't believe this stupid mission! What do they expect us to do? Be celibate until it's over? I'm going to die!" He undid the jacket the taller boy was wearing and dis-guarded as they made their way to the bedroom. Between the garage and the bedroom Trowa was topless and Quatre was breathing erratically. 

Trowa dropped him onto the bed. Quatre was about to take off his clothes when Trowa pushed his arms down to the bed. Quatres erection was painfully pushing up against his pants. Trowa ran his fingers teasingly over the fabric then put his mouth to it.

Quatre gasped feeling the warmth through his preventors' slacks.

Trowa smiled.

It was going to be a long night.

* * *

So how was it? 


	2. Roommates and headaches

They made it to the shuttle at eleven 'clock and not a moment sooner. Duo got on while Heero put their baggage underneath.

"You look a little stiff." Quatre looked up over the paper he and Trowa were reading.

"Yeah, well why don't you stand up?"

Quatre's cheeks flushed a tint of rose.

"That's what I thought." Duo took the seat across from him and Heero joined. "How long of a flight is it?"

"Four hours."

"Good I'm sleeping."

And he did, the whole way there. The next thing he knew was he was awake and being put into a cab that would take them there…to that place. Duo sneered out the window the whole way there. Heero went over the mission specs one more time.

"Really though. It's so stupid. How could we have lost him?" Quatre fiddled with the lock on the door.

"Underground plastic surgery and the murder of the physician. No record." Heero passed the picture around. "This is what he used to look like."

"Not that it will help." Quatre mumbled.

It was odd to see Trowa and Quatre holding hands. They never did. NEVER. Duo couldn't recall a time. The couple had been together seven years, the past two being married, and not once he could think off that he saw them holding hands. He'd always thought they weren't big on it. Some people just weren't. Heero wasn't, but Duo didn't care. He'd hold his hand anyway.

They arrived and Duo wanted to puke. The only word he could think of was summer camp. Along side of the thought that it wasn't a real college to begin with the dorms…were cabins. That surprise surprise, they used for their summer camp! Heero gave him a look several times telling him to zip it. They went straight to registration which was in an auditorium named after some guy they'd never heard of. The girl at the registration desk looked to be only 15. They split and went to their cabins…dorms, and started to unpack.

"Insane, I'm going to go insane."

"Duo shut up. You could look for something good in this situation."

"Good?"

Quatre sighed. "I'm trying to find something positive to keep myself from going insane.""HA!"

Quatre rolled his eyes. Of course it was ridiculous and he couldn't find anything positive about it. But Duo didn't need to point it out every 3.5 seconds.

They heard the door to their dorm open and turned to see who was coming. Average guy, early twenties from the looks of it. Face lit up like a Christmas tree upon seeing them.

"Hey! You guys must be the new roomies! My name is Chris! I'll be your Resident Advisor. And you are…"

"Quatre."

"Duo."

"Well good. Nice to meet you. Do you need help carrying your things? I helped a moving company last summer so I'm educated in such things. Besides, looks like you're both a little stiff."

Duo opened his mouth but Quatre quickly answered "Long flight" before Duo could get them kicked out on the first day.

"Long flight? I don't live but an hour away so I just drove here. Where are you from?"

"The colonies. L4"

"Really? L4 you say. So you must be international students? Did you know each other before you came here?"

Quatre rolled his eyes. This guy was like the energizer bunny of questions. "Yes. We've been friends for several years."

"Well that's cool. I don't have any friends here from home. But I've made a bunch of friends already. What's your main language?"

Duo was about to flat line this guy. And people thought he talked too much.

"English."

Duo smiled. He'd state Japanese as his second language but he only knew 'Harder, faster, oh my God, and fuck me!' Hell that was all he needed.

As if Quatre knew what he was thinking he slapped Duo firmly on the back of the head.

"Owie!"

"You deserved it"

"Look at you too, fighting like siblings. This will be a lot of fun. Well I have a meeting to run too so have fun unpacking. Don't be afraid to get out and meet other people now. Orientation is at 5. See you laters!" And with that he bounded out the door.

They stared after him, Quatres head cocked slightly to the side. "Are you sure that we are the only gay people here? Cause that guy screams stereotypical flaming fag."

"Who knows? I doubt it though. Heero read the handbook and they are major crazy against it. Assholes."

"Heero had time to read it?"

"I packed and he read."

"Oh."

They looked at each other and sighed. They had the feeling that this was going to be a long mission.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They met back up after they were threw putting their things away and headed off towards the Orientation meeting.

"Dorm Jobs? Like I have to clean stuff??!"

"Not like you don't clean things at home."

"Heero, that is not the same. I don't want to clean other peoples shit off the toilet, yours I don't mind so much."

"Touching." Trowa rolled his eyes.

"But Duo you don't want to clean my shit?"

"Shut up Quatre. Like you even know how to clean a toilet. You refused to do it in the safe house's because 'a person of your status has servants to do the dirty work.' Too bad for you, no servants."

"Don't remind me."

"Really though. Ridiculous."

"Tro, how are your roommates?"

Both Trowa and Heero made a face. It was a new face but could be easily read as 'oh dear god.'

"That bad?" Duo asked.

"We walked in to find one of our roommates, Bill Anderson, ironing his underwear." Heero shook his head as if trying to erase the memory. "He's from Oklahoma, I think it's in the states, but he sounds like the loser from an old western movie."

"Tim is worse." Trowa cut in. "Tim Donover, 20, Pennsylvania. He's the resident advisor and if that wasn't bad enough he's also the activities coordinator. We weren't in there but five minutes and he tried to sign us up for three different sports."

"They have sports?"

"Hn."Heero replied.

Duo snorted. "Probably knitting and giving food to the homeless are considered sports to these people."

They arrived at the auditorium where the meeting was. Unnoticed they made their way to the back, or so they thought.

"Heero! Trowa!"

Immediately the two flinched and Quatre and Duo raised an eyebrow. A guy in a cardigan sweater and khaki pants came jogging up towards them.

"I see you've met some people. Hi! I'm Tim Donover."

"Duo."

"Quatre. Actually, we know them from home."

"Oh more international students?"

"Yes." Trowa answered.

"We'll sitting back here won't help you meet anyone knew. Why don't you come up to the front with me? I have extra seats."

"No thank you." Quatre politely declined. "We can scope it out from back here."

"That's a good idea. I'll join you! I'ma go get my stuff."

"Wait-" Duo tried to protest but the guy was already running down towards the front. "Shit. That douche is going to come sit with us. We should move."

His plan however was thwarted when Tim suddenly reappeared. "There." He said plopping himself down next to Duo. "Greased lightning. Anyhoo, so you are all from L4. Fun. What do you do?"

'Greased monkey nuts is more like it asshole.' "I'm a mechanic." Duo said plainly.

"I work at an office."

"Fun. Fun. I was telling your friends here how I'm a volunteer coach. I help with JR. High girl's volleyball and the churches little league. I'm right out of high school so I've never had a job. Any of you have a girl back home?"

The unanimous and almost indignant 'NO' made him scoot back in his seat a bit. "Oh too bad. I have a girl. He name is Susan. We're going to get married in three years after we're done with school."

Duo was on the verge of shoving a pencil through his eye socket when cheering erupted and they all looked up at the stage. Six people were on the stage, waving down at the students and there families.

Tim pointed from left to right. "Dean of Men, his wife Dean of Women, the schools Chaplin, Board Head????, and the financial director."

Quatre leaned over and said something in Arabic.

"What did he say?" Tim asked.

"He said 'looks like a good staff'." What had really been said was 'they look like a bunch of snobs'. Duo agreed finding his description of them to be correct. If the ???? nose had been pointed any further towards the sky he would drown the next time it rained.

Each of the 'snobs' gave a quick description of their job and a short speech about Jesus and their lives. Then everyone was instructed to go to the dining hall to mingle, meet their teachers, find new friends, and eat snacks and cool aid. Needless to say they stayed away from the cool aid.


End file.
